Take the cilantro, leave the zamboni

I think I've tried to explain to people who haven't done it, how we used to have a 4-H competition for grading eggs and scoring chicken carcasses and stuff like that. It's hard to explain grading eggs if you don't have a candling lamp and can't show people how to twirl eggs in front of the light and look for the air sac and the yolk.

However, I just found the solution. The Eggs episode of "Good Eats" shows you how it's done. And they have a lot of fun in the process, as is true of all episodes of "Good Eats."

Now I'm hungry.

In other food news, earlier I was watching food porn--I mean, I was watching "30 Minute Meals." And I was watching Ms. Rachael Ray make a Monte Cristo with havarti and bacon and turkey and mustard and cranberry sauce, while eating my dinner of Thai sweet-and-sour Basil, a dish I had craved all day. Watching her make something so categorically different than what I was eating was like... well, it was like watching hard-core gay porn when you're in the mood for MILFs.

Not that I've ever watched either, but I still think that's what it was like.