Take the cilantro, leave the zamboni

I just started Breaking Dawn last night, and I'm already disliking it. Meyer (and yes, her surname bugs the SHIT out of me, so I can imagine what it does for you) just is NOT selling the plot this time, and it doesn't help that someone has already given me a "you will be squicked by book 4, so be warned" so it's pretty obvious what's coming. (THOUGH I SHOULD NOTE THAT I'M THANKFUL FOR THE WARNING ITSELF. I SHALL PLAY MUCH NIN AND MUSE WHILE READING IT OHO YES.) She failed to sell the plot of the end of book 2 and beginning of book 3 to me, either, but things worked out to the point where I kinda got over it once everyone else had.

PORTLAND?!? Oh fer crap's sake.

You know, I didn't look at a map until just now, which was a problem because my brain decided that Bella lived in my aunt's house in Fircrest, and so it sorta sjpved Lake Crescent to the west of where it really is, superimposed a little of the Fircrest grid over the terrain there, and imagined that La Push was sorta to the south and west of that.

And now, I look at a map (why was I too lazy to do this before?) and dude, I've driven through Forks, and I've been on the Cape Alava trail and North Sand Point trail.

WHOA. I just realized why Bella lives in my aunt's house. It's because my uncle's red truck is always parked outside. WHOA.